"What Others Think of Me is None of My Business"

"What Others Think of Me is None of My Business"

Dear friends,

Isn't that a great quote? I'd like to look at it a bit this week...

First off, it actually does matter what others think. We are here to learn and to grow, so closing our minds and hearts to feedback from the world around us is not helpful. We need to deal with reality as it presents itself to us. "No hot stove is going to tell me what to do!" is a pretty bad idea. If everyone is mad at us, maybe something is in fact wrong?

That said, the "none of my business" part is about our emotional reactions to things and not about shutting off from reality. The fact of the matter is that we generally care too much about what others think of us. This is because we each have a hole in our heart to some degree. Until we are completely merged with Spirit, we look outside of ourselves for validation, comfort, love, and ultimately, joy.

The admonition is really more of a reminder as to where our security comes from. Taking feedback seriously but unemotionally is a great step forward.

I worked with a great spiritual teacher who grew up in several places around the world. He was born here, but at one point while in Eastern Europe as a boy, some other boys taunted him as a "dirty Englishman." He thought, "Well, I am not dirty because I just showered. And I am actually American, not English, but close enough." What a great impersonal response to what was supposed to be an unsettling remark.

There is no causality between what someone says or does and how you have to feel. Hear what is said, consider it, and then dismiss it as you will, without disregarding whatever lesson may be present.

May we each learn to view everything that comes to us with both an open heart and mind, secure in the knowledge that deep within ourselves nothing can truly touch us.

Blessings,
David G., manager
For the staff at East West