Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places
Dear friends,
For those of you old enough to remember that song title, that's what we will be writing about today. It's about the human tendency to look for love and joy outside ourselves.
The major myth on earth is that circumstances make us happy. But there are countless stories of rich, successful, happily married folks who are deeply unhappy and dissatisfied, or poor folks with health issues and extremely difficult lives who seem radiant and joy-filled. There can of course be certain chemical imbalances in the brain and such, but the countless gradations in between those extremes cannot all be explained away chemically. So, what's going on?
When we are facing a hardship there are always two things at play: the situation, which of course may be quite difficult on its face. But the second aspect is our reaction to the circumstance. We almost always justify our reaction ("If you had heard what he said, you'd be upset too!" "Can you believe what they did?!" "I can't believe..." "How can they?!" "What is wrong with this world?!" etc. etc.)
It's not that circumstances do not matter. They most certainly do. But our reaction is not as inextricably tied to them as we like to think. It is always easier to blame someone else than to change our deep habits, patterns, and reactive process. True freedom comes as we become more and more independent of our circumstances. Yogananda talked about "standing unshaken amidst the crash of breaking worlds". I'm still working on being unruffled when someone cuts in front of me in a grocery store line. Oh well, success is importantly directional improvement, fortunately.
The spiritual techniques we are all aware of (selfless service, meditation, chanting, reflection, acceptance, etc.) all are geared to releasing the hold our outward life has on us. Yogananda also referred to "the portable paradise within" that lies beneath the storms on the surface of the sea. As we deepen our connection with Spirit, the ups and downs of life are more merely observed and thus less able to toss us about like corks on the ocean.
And in fact, that depth of connection centers us and thus makes us more aware, more competent, and more intelligently able to act, rather than denying what is happening around us, or wishing the world was different. Freedom is the home of intuition, insight, and right action. Constantly railing against reality leaves us stressed, worried, agitated, and unable to see clearly.
May we always remember to focus first and most deeply on our inner reality rather than immediately looking outward for solutions and cures. They will come in time once the mind and heart are calm.
Blessings,
David G., manager
For the staff at East West